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I discovered, lately, that it is a frequent phrase amongst my members of the family – “an hour of life, is life.” I keep in mind the primary time I heard my mother use the phrase, not various years in the past, I latched onto it instantly. Since then, I’ve notice that lots of my kin use the phrase – it’s type of a household mantra, which is sensible, then, that once I heard it, it reverberated inside me—“Sure! An hour of life is life.”
To me it was a clarion name to not waste a single hour – to by no means suppose, “Oh, however I solely have an hour…” and as an alternative embrace the hour for all its potentiality—I have an hour, what’s going to I do with it?
On the opposite finish of issues, for years I’ve had a recurring dream of my dying. I’m driving a bus however I’ve no imaginative and prescient—both due to dense fog or deep darkness. I’m steering blind on a steep mountain, driving on very windy roads, a bus full of individuals, and the brakes have given out! I’m driving for our lives and am shocked that I’ve been in a position to keep on the highway and guess the turns for so long as I’ve. However, ultimately, inevitably, I find yourself driving us off the highway to our demise.
In my dream there may be complete calm and give up because the bus floats, falls, the downward distance to the bottom far under. I’m totally conscious of the second and peacefully suppose, “That is it. That is the top, and it’s occurring now. That is how I’m going.” And in that downward falling time, I start to ship out my ideas/messages to all of the individuals I really like. I consciously consider my mother and my dad and ship them love. I allow them to know that I feel they’re wonderful and that I couldn’t have requested for anybody higher. I allow them to know that I’m okay and that I’m leaving properly and in peace. From there, I feel by means of a listing of my beloved individuals and “ship” them my messages and my love…
I’ve at all times discovered it curious that I dream of my dying this fashion, and that there’s a full sense of peace and acceptance about it. There’s additionally the expertise and sensation of being suspended in air, the slow-motion downward fall that turns into an opportunity to ship love, affirmation, and reassurances to my family members. I’ve by no means minded the dream. It principally simply journeys me out.
Now, in residing time 😊, two Sundays in the past, I went on a 12-hour stroll. I did this after my pal talked about that she was doing this and after studying the corresponding e book by the identical title. The concept is to be with simply your self, strolling at your personal tempo and resting as wanted, however difficult your self to maintain going for 12 hours with none exterior enter – no music, no podcast, no cellphone calls or dialog – simply you, with you.
It was difficult within the bodily sense—my proper knee began hurting after 6 hours and the day I scheduled myself to go on the stroll the climate was chilly and drizzly all through, in order that was a bit disagreeable. However mentally and emotionally, all was properly. I loved myself and I particularly loved the parks and vegetation by means of which I walked all day. I additionally discovered that I very simply take into consideration the educating classes that I can create from the issues I see and uncover as I’m going by means of my day.
All this brings me full circle, to this very random thought-experiment: If I solely had an hour left of life, what would I do?
Throughout my stroll, I found what I’d do with my “una hora de vida.” I’d go to the park, out into nature, even when only a close by patch of earth (I do dwell within the metropolis in spite of everything), and I’d sit on the bottom and write. I’d breathe, take within the air, really feel it fill my lungs. I’d really feel the earth beneath me, round me, and the sky above me. I’d smile at all of them and I’d thank them, grateful to have gotten to participate of their complete. After which I’d use the hour to jot down. I’d put my love into phrases for my household and associates to learn. I’d inform them I’m okay; that I’m grateful for his or her love and for his or her being. That they’re good and that I used to be fortunate to have been part of them.
I’d sit there and really feel the complete, the entire of which I’ve gotten to be half, and I’d acknowledge and really feel the connection to it all.
As soon as completed writing, I’d fold the paper and signal my scribbly signature on the surface. I’d maintain it to my coronary heart in gratitude for the time I had with all of the individuals I really like. I’d say out loud, I really like you, and I’d smile.
Una hora de vida, es vida…what may you do with yours?
Bio
Xochitl Alvizo, loves all issues feminist, womanist, and decolonial. She usually finds herself on the boundary of various social and cultural contexts, and works arduous to develop her voice and to hear and encourage the voice of others. Her work is impressed by the conviction that each one individuals are inextricably linked and what we do, right down to the smallest factor, issues; it makes a distinction for good or for sick. She teaches within the space of Ladies and Faith, and the Philosophy of Intercourse, Gender, and Sexuality, at California State College, Northridge. She lives in Los Angeles, CA the place she was additionally born and raised.
Classes: Demise and Dying, Household, Friendship, Normal, Interdependence of Life, Love, Nature
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