I Want an Abortion by Marie Cartier

This was initially posted June, 2022

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of I don’t have the cash to fly someplace else apart from …right here

The place I can’t get one

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of the child, or the cells of a possibly child, have been put in right here by the man that raped me and if I’ve to have it, I’ll kill myself

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of I’ve 4 children already and I can’t feed one other one

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of it’s my dad’s…did you hear me say that? I’ve by no means mentioned that. I’ve by no means mentioned what he does to me…and now I’ve to point out everybody… if I can’t get this out of me I’ll…

I’ve to get this factor out of me

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of I’m a Christian and this was only one time…and my dad and mom will kick me out. He mentioned he pulled out in time. And he gained’t even admit now that it’s his.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of guess what? I’m thirty and I received employed as an airline stewardess and …I’m seeing a lady in Paris and – this simply kind of occurred one evening right here in LA and I don’t need this.

I don’t need this. Isn’t it my physique? I don’t need this.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of I’m in my first yr of faculty and one thing you probably did drunk shouldn’t be your complete life, I imply my complete life… I can’t consider that is occurring to me

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

I can’t fucking get one—are you kidding–? My grandmother might have gotten one!

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

There’s a meme on social media that claims a lady doesn’t need an abortion like an ice cream cone or a Porsche (as if I might ever need that…)

She desires an abortion as an animal caught in a lure desires to gnaw off its personal leg

…so possibly I get by with one leg. Folks do.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

I can’t fucking get one! I’m screaming in my closet right into a pillow, my greatest good friend says we must always take off …however how?

We’re each twelve.

 I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of this child has extreme delivery defects and I don’t have the cash to handle it. And I don’t have the time. And this isn’t my life. That is another person’s concept of a life.

And I don’t need to stay another person’s concept of a life.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of individuals who won’t ever be in my scenario—i.e., pregnant—determined for me.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

I’m googling how to do that with a coat hanger, or a coke squirted up inside you…or doing cartwheels or working—there’s a image of a coat hanger on the web page…I’m fifteen…am I gonna stick that coat hanger up inside me? that is what this Southern feminist says about that: To be clear, these choices are harmful and should end in everlasting harm or loss of life.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

Somebody on-line says if you happen to eat sufficient papaya, or sesame seeds, or parsley leaves or…cinnamon powder…how do you eat plenty of cinnamon powder?

…or drink sufficient chamomile tea, or mug wort tea…or take sufficient scorching showers…or…however additionally they say it won’t work. You must wait a very long time. See what occurs. However I can’t wait a very long time. I can’t wait in any respect.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of I’ll be accused of homicide.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

As a result of the newborn? Is it a child? The newborn died…and they’re making me carry it. And I’ll transfer in entrance of a transferring practice. And there’s a transferring practice in my city that drives by my home at midday.

And I’ll transfer in entrance of that practice if this useless factor doesn’t get out of my physique.

I want an abortion and I can’t get one

I can’t…I can’t get one.

*

I certain do want what I wished was an ice cream cone

–Marie Cartier

June 27, 2022, with due to the Queerwise writing group, QUEERWISE